Simply Mother

Last time I told Sariah the pumpkin she decorated was going the way of the earth, she broke into hysterics (as she is prone to do some of the time). So tonight when I noticed another decorative pumpkin was ready for the compost pile, I remembered to give her a little advanced noticed.

I told her it was time to bid farewell to this lovely little pumpkin and she cried, “Not tonight!” I said, “Oh, I know, I just wanted to give you a chance to say goodbye to him. He doesn’t have to go out until tomorrow.”

That was perfect–I am learning a lot about her–all she needs is a little warning time. She took that pumpkin and wrapped him up, talking to him the whole time about how she was going to give him a nice, soft, cozy place to sleep tonight and other sweet nothings. So precious.

I wish I had remembered this earlier today, when I had to interrupt their movie (Frosty the Snowman) to go to Sariah’s eye appointment. (Have I told you about the vision therapy thing? I should one day.) I told them it was time to turn it off, and of course they begged for “just a few more minutes” but I had waited too long and I felt like we really needed to just turn it off and go, so I just clicked it off.

Oh my.

You would have thought I had just hung her up by her toes, for all the wailing and shrieking about. (She’s reading this as I type, and laughing hysterically.) (She also pointed out to me that snowman is one word, not two, by the way. I was thinking it looked a bit funny the way I had it.)

Anyway, I was thinking it was quite ridiculous, all the freaking out over a paused movie, and whenever something like that happens I’m tempted to think she’s being manipulative–if only because it is seriously so dramatic.

But as I thought about it later, and noticed how she really, truly was not able to calm down even with subtle threats about “Maybe we shouldn’t watch movies anymore if this is what it’s going to do to you” (gag!), I realized that she really was feeling that intense about it, and remembered about how she handles transitions better if she can just have bit of notice.

I was the stubborn one this time though, telling myself the whole time we really just didn’t have time to watch another minute–even though we probably did, and even though under normal circumstances I’d be willing to be a minute late if it meant we arrived there with our relationship in tact–and probably also telling myself some nonsense about “not giving in” even though that was probably exactly what I should have done in this situation, just like the bedtime one, remember? (I don’t, apparently.)

In fact, we arrived a few minutes early (mostly because she refused to eat lunch: too hysterical), and when we got there, she had cooled off from reading in the car, and I had had time to think and recenter, and I took her in my arms and told her I understand that it was really hard for her when I turned off the movie. She talked about it for a minute, and I told her I would always try to give her a few minutes’ warning, and that was that; she went in to her appointment happy.

This little girl is awesome. There are a few things I’m learning about her that help keep the awesomeness showing and the tears and freakouts at bay. ;)

Filed in: cuteness • family • parenting | December 9, 2009