Simply Mother

First, a sidenote about my last post. All the hitting that is going on, don’t worry, I’m not allowing our home to become a scary/harmful place to be. For one thing, she’s not actually doing it with an intention of causing pain so much as with a need for help/attention, and so even in the few times she manages to make contact, it’s not terribly hurtful.

But also, I realize I’m the one responsible for making sure my kids stay safe, and I am sure to be right by her side during the times it seems it might be necessary, ready to offer guidance, redirection, and physical intervention when appropriate.

Just in case I had any of you worried.

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Now then, you’re going to love this story.

Jade’s church nursery leader came up to me at our women’s meeting last night (Enrichment, we call it) proclaiming her adoration for Jade, telling me how much they just love having her in their class. And while this is so very sweet and heart-warming–and quite a relief during this particular period, as I’ve been somewhat worried that the stuff mentioned in the last post had carried over into nursery, you have to hear the rest of what she had to say.

First, she said, “She’s so . . . so . . . socially advanced.”

Anxious to know what caused her to think this, I pressed for details.

She went on to tell me about another little girl in the nursery, the one who is very outgoing and has always been In Charge. I think she even used the term “bossy.” (I knew the little girl and she’s super adorable, Jade talks about her frequently and they get excited when they see each other.)

“Well,” she told me, “Jade watched her very carefully on her first day there and then she went up to her and, with her hands on her hips told her very plainly, ‘You’re the child and I’m the mother and you have to do what I say.’”

Wha?? Oh my, at this point I am very concerned. Where in the world did she come up with that? I really don’t even talk to her like that. I have never told her she HAS to do what I say just because I’m the mother–that’s just not our parenting style. I mean, she does do what I ask the great majority of the time but it is just a natural product of . . . oh, well I won’t get into all that parenting philosophy here. Suffice it to say, we don’t talk like that to her, I have no idea where it’s coming from, and I’m about to apologize when I notice the nursery leader just smiles really big and continues her story.

The other girl just smiled and said “Okay” and they played mother/daughter the rest of the day, and it has continued like this every week, Jade leading her around, telling her what to do!

One day the girl was coloring a picture and Jade stopped the crayon in her hand, saying firmly, “No, you can’t use that color.” [Insert another horrified look from me.] I told her, “Jade, that’s her picture and she has to use the colors she wants.”

But the girl just looked up at me saying, “No teacher, she’s my mother, she has to tell me what to do,” and handed over the crayon.

So she lets them play their game, and I guess this is why she thinks Jade is “socially advanced.” She says, “I think she saw that girl and realized this is how it’s going to have to be if we’re going to make it work with both of us in here together!”

I would be very worried about the other girl except that she is obviously NOT timid, shy, or fearful–she’s just playing the game like Jade is, and having fun at it. At least, that’s how the leader made it seem (I’ve never witnessed any of this myself), but the leader seems very perceptive and capable, so I’m sure she wouldn’t let something hurtful go on.

Jade is quite the character, is she not? I mean, this story, it’s almost like she’s talking about the wrong child, it’s hard for me to even imagine Jade being like that–but she IS a great little actress. Oh, how she cracks us up! I love her to pieces, and I’m so glad her sweet nursery leaders do too!

Here, enjoy this cute little clip of her trying to recite the poem they’re learning in nursery. If you listen closely, at the end you’ll hear me say Jade and Sarah’s real names (for any of you who don’t already know them).

I know it’s kind of silly to use pseudonyms for them here (and kind of annoying for me, especially when I accidentally use one of their fake names in real life!) but with the infinite archiving capabilities of the Internet, and my anticipation that in ten years, the thing to do about the person you have a crush on is going to be to search and see if her mom kept a blog, I have to take at least some measures to keep us less googleable.

My favorite part? “I knowed all of it.”

Yes, you do Sweetheart, yes you do!

Filed in: child development • cuteness • parenting | September 9, 2009