Trusting That Writing Will Come
My six-year-old learned how to ride a bike today!
She can’t quite get started on her own yet, and she stops very gracefully by steering onto the grass and smoothly falling over, but this is mostly due to the fact that, even with the seat lowered all the way, she still barely scrapes the ground with her tippy-toes. Perhaps we should have gone with the smaller bike. She can balance, anyway.
This evening as we were doing bedtime routine, she wanted to write something in her journal herself. Usually, she just dictates to me, as she hasn’t been too keen on writing yet. She loves, loves, loves to read. Spends hours reading on her own every day (no credit to me for any of it, I assure you, unless you include reading to her, and reading myself), but writing hasn’t been a big interest.
Except for the occasional urgent message:
I haven’t been worried about this at all, except for a short period after a comment from her eye doctor, wherein he informed me that “her fine motor skills are not very good” and that if I don’t make her practice, practice, practice now, she could be “behind forever.”
After some consideration, I think I believe he’s pretty much full of malarkey.
I mean, unless there’s truly some terrible defect going on wherein she will never develop normal fine motor abilities (and then, if that’s the case, what good would practice do, right?), I’m pretty sure, living in this print-dominated world that we do, and being surrounded by all kinds of books, paper, notebooks, and writing utensils, somewhere down the road she’s going to take up an interest in learning to write like everybody else she knows, and just start doing it. The same way she “just” started reading.
At any rate, I don’t think that I’d say her writing is that much below average for her age anyway. I’ve seen other six-year-old’s write better (smaller, more legibly), sure. But I’ve also seen some write very similarly.
She can write her name. Yes, it’s “huge” (her own term, used to explain why she wanted me to write a note to her friend for her–so it wouldn’t be huge), and yes, she’s forming her letters from bottom to top, despite that I’ve shown her the “proper” way (also despite little workbooks we have lying around that have the directional arrows), but it’s legible, and she’s proud of her ability.
She can write other letters that aren’t in her name, but she doesn’t write all of them. (Actually, she still occasionally asks me to write her S for her, thinking she can’t do it very well. I always do it if she asks me.) She doesn’t write a ton anyway, and it would definitely become a source of stress for her if I tried to get “make” her practice.
(I tested it out once. Never saying I was requiring it, of course, but just sitting with her asking her to trace my letters and make her own. That experience–watching her up and down, up and down on the chair, so easily distracted by every little thing, and eventually not wanting to do very much at all–definitely reinforced my gladness that she is NOT in school. Oh my!)
Tonight though, while Jade narrated to me about her day Sarah was busily writing in her own journal. When she finished, she showed it to me. She had written the word HELLO (all in caps), her name, and several other letters, which I read outloud.
She said, “Yeah, I don’t make Q’s. I need get on that. I can’t really make the circles for the O’s, you know? Without so many squiggles.”
I’ve honestly never said anything to her about “needing” to learn to write, and hearing her say that, realizing that she is conscious of her abilities and inabilities, and desires to be able to write well, reminded me to continue to “trust the process,” as they say.
I told her, “You will when you’re ready. You know how you couldn’t ride a bike without training wheels for so long, and now you can?” She smiled. “Writing will come too,” I said, and I believe it.
**
Note: Don’t take from this that I don’t believe in practice. I just mean that maybe there’s not much point in practicing something you’re not developmentally ready to do anyway. Especially if you don’t WANT to do it.
Interest and developmental ability. Key factors to almost anything, I think. Here, as I sit pondering at 1:30 in the morning. Fully aware, all mental faculties may not be operating correctly. ;)
Filed in: child development • family • home education | August 4, 2009
steadymom
Fully agree! My 6-year-old daughter is much the same, and there have been times that it has been stressful to ME. But I do trust the process, and it’s so easy when I can let go of the worry.
Jamie
hillary
Lots of support mama. My 4.5 year old has absolutely no interest in writing or words and I just keep reminding myself that it’s all good. I think your daughter’s writing looks great!
Trish
Those letters in the above picture could easily have been made by my 6 year old DS. He also writes many letters from the bottom up, and tells me he prefers it that way. I’ve shown him the “proper” way, and mentioned how it can make writing faster or easier, but he just takes it in & then chooses his own way.
My DS is also not really reading yet. He wants to, and he’s working on it here and there as we going about our lives, but he’s not really there yet. I think maybe sometime in the next year it’ll really happen.
I have this feeling that our kid’s generation just won’t have as much emphasis on physically writing stuff. I think they are going to go the keyboard route. Frankly, besides the grocery list, I rarely actually write something anymore. I choose to type any time I can. Maybe this next generation will learn fine motor skills through hobbies & interests instead of through writing (artwork, woodworking, repairing a motherboard?).
Nat2
You sounded so very wise in your conversation with Sarah about riding da bike compared to writing da letters. Mother moment!
Simply Mother
Thanks everybody. I am so taking off the moderation thingie, especially now that I have to wait till my hubby has a break before I can check comments.
Trish, I think so too. I don’t like writing either–hate my own handwriting, hate that it’s so slow compared to typing. I mostly type too.
Natalie
Both East and Em still write from bottom to top, even though they’ve “practiced” writing from top to bottom many times. It’s just not natural for them, so they do what comes natural. I don’t think it matters how letters are formed, as long as they are. You should see how Easton manages to get his lower case “D” on a page. It will confuse you and make you laugh. But it gets the job done!
mom
Josh was taught in preschool to form his letters from bottom to top….makes me crazy if I watch him. Dave’s 2nd grade teacher said to have him play with play-dough to help w/the fine motor skills. His writing is still pretty messy.
(If they cancel the father/son campout, I’ll get dad to help me look for those letters.)
grannie
just wait ’til she gets to her old years. My writing is rotten writin’ writ rotten now days. John made his a’s and o’s funny. The finished product looked good, but getting there was something to watch. I’d love to be there to help.
Amber
Just found your blog, and had to say, adding stress has never helped me learn anything faster/better. :D
She will write when she is ready. I learnt to read in English at the age of 9-10, while I read in French at 5 or 6 (English speaking Mother at home, no Father present, French school). It took me longer, partly because I think it was the isolation next to the teachers desk in class while everyone else got to play. I had to ‘practice’. I still hate ready aloud, because of it.
We all learn to do things in due time. I can read, very well thank you, in English now. Had I been in an English school, I might not have had this problem, or I might have, and would have been held back. We didn’t start formal English in school until grade 4. Either way, I think her own time, in loving guidance of herself at home is best!
She will write, she will learn to write clearly, and she probably will not remember when she started, because it will have not been a source of stress or anxiety. :)
Warmly,
Amber