Simply Mother

I’m working on a new design for this blog* and oh man do I not know what I am doing. But I can’t seem to stop myself either — I’ve been up past 3am for three consecutive nights now.

Here’s why I’m so prone to staying up late: It’s actually easier for me to wake up after getting only five hours of sleep than when I get seven or eight. I can go to bed at 3am, and wake up at 7:30 and feel fine, with very little inclination to hide under the covers and pretend I don’t have anybody dependent on me for meeting their basic life needs.

Not so when I go to bed at a reasonable hour (well, if midnight can be considered reasonable). Give me seven straight hours of sleep and I’ll beg for three more and it is a monumental feat dragging myself out of bed.

Isn’t this bizarre? How much sleep do I actually need?

For the past three nights I’ve only slept for 5 hours or less. I don’t really even feel tired throughout the day, but I think that is what’s wrong with me — I rarely ever FEEL tired.

But I know my body needs sleep. I yawn. My patience is thin. My ability to cope with stress nil. My mind is fuzzy, and my reaction time is seriously delayed. My kids ask me things and have to repeat themselves multiple times as I sit there trying to process what they’ve said.

Like tonight as I’m sitting on Jade’s bed tucking her in.

Jade: “Mom, can you get me those dolls?”
Me: Hmmm, sounds like someone’s talking.
J: “Mom, can you get me those dolls?”
M: Yep, definitely, there are definitely words being said.
J: “Mom! Can you get me those dolls??”
M: Oh! Me! I’m mom! They’re talking to me. (And finally I look in her direction, staring blankly.)
J: “Can. you. get. me those. doolllllls?”
M: “Dolls … “
J: Looks at me imploringly.
M: “Dolls!! Yes! You want dolls! Here … ”

I’m planning on going to bed soon, don’t worry.

*Speaking of which, this one seems to have fallen into disrepair. Sorry if you encounter quirks, I probably won’t get around to fixing them, but hopefully my new design will be coming soon and you can help me work out all the bugs on that one! And I know the post title font doesn’t look so good with this design, but I was tired of the pretty cursive one.

Filed in: self-reflection • website | June 20, 2009