Homebirth, are you crazy?
In this highly medical community, with the two major hospitals competing for business (I’m told one even boasts steak dinners!), I’m frequently asked where I delivered my baby. The general response when I tell them we just stayed home has been positive, if a little astonished. And maybe they’re just polite and very good at masking their other thoughts which are probably something a long the lines of “Are you mentally deranged?”
Some are a little more bold, or just know us better and feel more comfortable questioning our sanity. Matt’s friend recently sent him an email, a little incredulous, and I quickly drafted my immediate thoughts to Matt, but I don’t know if he ever responded about it. In case anyone else is wondering, and for Josh, just in case he stops by, here’s what that email looked like:
- Tell him that he is absolutely entitled to his opinion, and homebirth definitely isn’t for everyone, but we were 100% positive that this was the safest, least scary route for our family, at least with this pregnancy, after much research and prayer.
- Tell him that birth at home with a competent midwife has been shown in several studies to be at least as safe, if not safer, than hospital birth, and midwives always come out with impressively low rates of all the typical interventions and complications (including pitocin, episiotomy/tearing, forceps/suction delivery, and c-sections. The studies count all planned homebirths in the homebirth category, even if they had to be transferred to a hospital.)
- Tell him that, while no birth place/option is completely risk free, midwives are extensively trained to find and correct problems BEFORE they become serious, and are well-versed in what to do in the case of emergencies. Also, emergencies are extremely rare in homebirth due largely to the fact that midwives don’t use drugs, technology (in place of actual human monitoring), or stupid practices that CAUSE complications.
- Tell him that our midwives carry oxygen, pitocin (for the mother, in case of post-partum hemorrhage) and are otherwise well-equipped to handle the most common emergencies, though, again, these are rarely needed.
- Tell him that the hospital is less than 10 minutes away, which is shorter than it usually takes the staff to prep for a c-section anyway, and we had their number posted to our fridge to call ahead just in case.
- But of course, tell him that we had almost zero intention of needing that. Most homebirth midwifery practices have a hospital transfer rate of between 4-8%, with the large majority of those being non-emergent, the-mother-is-just-exhausted-and-wants-drugs-type of transfers, and our particular midwives have a transfer rate of practically nil. When I asked if they had any particular doctors they liked working with in our city, in case we did need to transfer, they said no, actually, they don’t know any because they’ve never, in over 20 years of practicing, had to transfer anyone in here.
- Tell him that hospitals terrify me much, much more. Especially the biggest one here, with it’s 65% c-section rate. Not kidding. I’ll skip the steak dinner, thankyouverymuch!
Also tell him he doesn’t have to believe me, and I’m okay with him thinking I’m crazy. :)
(I did write a little more about this before I had the baby.)
stephanie
65% c-section rate? YIKES!! Funny that people are freaked out about the thought of homebirth, but very few probably even bat an eyelash at that statistic.
As someone who’s had babies in a freestanding birth center, hospital, and home– homebirth was the best, hands down. I actually had a great experiences with my hospital birth and at the birth center, but there is no way on earth that I’ll ever go back (as long as it’s not medically necessary, of course).
I think that the majority of people in America feel like there is just one Medical Truth, and that all dr.s practice accordingly– they don’t realize just how subjective (and sometimes harmful) the practice of medicine can be.
Choosing homebirth certainly takes some self confidence– that’s for sure.
Natalie
It’s interesting anybody cares now that you’ve successfully delivered a healthy baby.
Amanda
Great post! I have family and friends who would definitely be hard to persuade that homebirth is safe. But my first was a c-section. My mom and dad (about 60 years old) seem to know so little about this. They each expressed concern about me because they thought a midwife was not as good as a doctor.
Simply Mother
Stephanie–I know, that statistic is horrendous. Over HALF of all women can’t deliver babies vaginally? There is really something wrong there! I called the hospital to find out if it was accurate or just a widespread rumor and she not only confirmed it but defended it saying, “It’s great because then the women don’t get their bottoms all torn and sore.”
Seriously? They can’t figure out how to help women not tear or need an episiotomy, so they just start performing major surgery on them instead?
Natalie–there’s always “What if?” you know? It’s okay though. I probably could have left this with the very first point and that would be enough for me. My husband and I felt it was the right choice for us, and it was confirmed through prayer. What more does anyone need? So comments and questions don’t get to me–mostly, I just totally understand where they’re coming from, because I felt the same way at one point.
Amanda–I felt the same way at one point, but I didn’t really have any idea what a midwife was!
Natalie
Are you kidding!?! She (he?) really said that!? “Women don’t get their bottoms all torn and sore” Seriously!?! Did you not just laugh hysterically!? What logic went into that? I’d much rather have to heal down there for a couple weeks than have a huge hole cut into my stomach that will take 6 weeks to heal and then not always be just right (I have a good friend who still has pains every now and again from her CS 2 years later). Wow. That was quite the ignorant statement, wasn’t it?
Simply Mother
Insane, isn’t it? I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I asked her to repeat herself, but yep, that’s what she meant. They rationalize doing so many surgeries by claiming the benevolent purpose of saving pereniums. That’s the way this community is here though, extremely medically minded. The more “high tech” something is, the better.
I’ve had friends whose doctors tried to make them feel better about having to have a cesarean by sharing the same rationale. I suppose it is a slight benefit, and I appreciate that they want to help women feel good about their birth, no matter what happened, but, man, I just wish they’d put their focus more into preventing it from having to happen so often in the first place!
Nat2
I said to my 21-year-old brother-in-law, “That’s okay, it just means you’re a mainstream thinker,” or something like that.