Simply Mother

Today was wonderful. It was relaxing. I enjoyed my kids. I even got a few things done.

Yesterday, right as I was saying to myself, “Why is she just so GRUMPY all the time?” about my 5-year-old, it dawned on me that she is probably just reflecting MY mood, and Hello? Why have I been so grumpy all the time lately?

I realized that I’ve been relying my kids to set the mood in the house! When one of them is grumpy, instead of noticing that and making an extra effort to be cheerful and kind myself, gently inviting them to partake of my happy spirit, I react to every little disturbance. As if I, too, were 5 years old! Some kind of mothering, I tell you!

For clarification, Sarah is NOT grumpy all the time. She has always been an incredibly bubbly and cheerful little girl, bringing so much joy to our family. This past week, she was just a little stuck much of the time — and I was right there with her!

As soon as I realized what was going on yesterday, I went into my room to pray for strength to pull out of the discouraging place I was stuck in, and came out resolved to let my children find joy in life again.

It worked! We’ve been having a great time. Doing all the usual things. Errands. Fabric store. Library. Cook meals. Clean up after meals. Laundry. Laundry. Laundry.

But the feeling is different. My kids were back to their usual happy selves today. It was marvelous.

Then I remembered this post I wrote last week, and then never got around to publishing it — I’m not sure why. Maybe because I hadn’t internalized the lesson. Or done anything about it.

Now that I have, and I’ll share it with you.

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The bank teller taught me something today. What did he do?

He laughed. And smiled.

And he didn’t even realize anyone was noticing. He was just enjoying his job.

And I thought: How boring must his job be! Talk about monotonous! All day long, adding up numbers, handing people deposit slips, entering boring data into the same glaring computer screen. Car after car, customer after customer. It can’t be all that exciting, can it? I mean, I suppose there’s the occasional chance to hand out a sucker to a kid, but still, not exactly something to write home about, you know?

We moms are often heard complaining about the monotony of life with young children. How boring it can be, how isolated we are, how dull it is — moving one load of laundry from the washer to the dryer, just to add another to the washer again.

I complain with the best of them, don’t worry.

But honestly, it can’t be any worse than the job of a bank teller. Or a thousand other jobs. I think it doesn’t matter WHAT a person is doing — it can be boring and dull and done with a neutral expression and an attitude of “just doin’ what needs to be done.”

Or!

It can be done with a smile, a laugh, and an attitude of enjoyment.

I don’t think it’s about the job at all. It’s about the person doing it. I want to be the kind of person who is cheery and good-natured. Who smiles when there are little mishaps because, really, what else are you gonna do? A mess is a mess and it still has to be cleaned up, whether you’re a grouch about it or not, right?

I’m not naturally that person. I know many who are, and I admire them. I am going to try to remember to choose happiness. And that maybe even changing a poopy diaper can be something to smile about.

Filed in: parenting • self-reflection | March 1, 2009