Simply Mother

Some thoughts floating through my mind as I drove to Target the other night (Where I spent too much money, by the way.) (Though that has nothing to do with this post.) (I always spend too much money when I go to Target.) . . .

Now that I’m ready to start typing this up, it all seems so obvious and I’m feeling a little silly. Of course we all recognize there are things young children aren’t capable of understanding. No matter how hard I try, how persistent I am, or how perfect my teaching strategies are, my two-year-old just doesn’t have the mental requirements necessary to understand the principles of Calculus. Or algebra. Probably not even multiplication.

It’s easy to see how concrete their limitations are when we’re talking about math, but somehow I tend to forget this (or ignore it) when dealing with other aspects of life, especially moral ones. The virtues of sharing. How our actions affect others. How another person can be sad or hurting even though I feel great.

Somehow those get put in a different category in my mind, such that I convince myself that she does understand these things like I do, that she SHOULD be able to grasp the concept (and thereafter act on it perfectly, no less!), if I only explain it well enough.

(I know even the smallest children may have a rudimentary understanding of those examples I listed, or maybe it’s just their natural inclination when they’re needs are met, because we’ve all witnessed our children acting on them from young ages. I’m thinking it’s more the latter though, than that they truly understand the concept, because in times of stress, it really is as if they cannot understand anything beyond self.)

No wonder I spend so much time talking! I mean, I think talking with kids is a good thing–far better than punishing (though I think at times my talking may be experienced as a punishment–so sad!) or even just spewing out seemingly arbitrary rules without explanation or discussion, but I definitely overdo it.

My kids are helping me recognize this though (every time I find myself talking to an unwilling audience), so maybe by the time I have grandchildren, I’ll just naturally accept them as they are, during whichever developmental stage they happen to be in, trusting that they will develop understanding in their own time. Which, incidentally, probably isn’t even “theirs” but God’s! (Which just shows how prideful and egocentric I am, assuming–unconsciously, of course–I might know better than Him, how kids should develop!)

He designed us, afterall, and I can’t imagine He made a mistake when He crafted us to learn and be able to understand principles gradually. There must be a good reason (perhaps to such an extent that I’m doing wrong–or at the least, kicking myself in the foot, by trying to rush it?) Though perhaps my ability to understand that reason is still beyond my grasp!

Which brings me to my other observation, an extension of this idea of limits to our understanding into adulthood. I don’t know if this is another part of our culture or what, but for some reason many of us grew up thinking adults know everything . . . and therefore, when I grow up, I’ll know everything.

Oh what a sad realization it was, to find out this was not the case!

But also, how obvious! As if upon entering adulthood someone would just open up our heads and pour all the necessary information into it! And even if they did, as if we’d just suddenly be able to make sense of it all–just because now we’re “mature.”

No, of course we’re always going to be learning. And there are always going to be limits to our understanding. The limits may keep expanding (hopefully), but no matter how “developed” my brain gets, there will still be room to grow–and therefore, things I just won’t be capable of understanding. (At least until my brain is perfected and glorified and all that, sometime after I die. Not really sure how that’s all going to work out.)

My question is, why is this surprising?

The question is to directed at a certain brand of atheism who’s claim that there is nothing exists beyond the things we can see and examine with our mortal senses is based on the premise that anything else just seems preposterous. That so many tenets of religion are just too bizarre to be taken seriously.

It doesn’t make sense to them, and therefore, it’s all absurd and impossible? Isn’t that a little like a teenager saying algebra couldn’t possibly be true because I don’t get it? Or a toddler claiming your feelings don’t exist because I can’t comprehend anything beyond “me”?

What makes these people think they should even be able to understand God? That it should make perfect sense to them, if it is to be believed at all? Maybe it goes back to that childish belief that adults are supposed to know everything.

I don’t know, and I know there are atheists of all different sorts, and many wouldn’t use this argument at all, but for me, it isn’t all that rational. If you consider that maybe we are ALL still just infants compared to what we will be some day, then it makes perfect sense that some of the great concepts of the universe are going to continue to be mysterious to us . . . for a very long time!

The thing is, I think all things DO make sense. Perfect, logical, rational sense. I don’t pretend for a minute to be able to see it in every aspect, even of my own religion. But I believe they do, and I believe one day I will see it.

We all will.

And we’ll all be like, “Oh, duh, of course. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t see that?”

But nothing is wrong with us, just like nothing is wrong with a small child who can’t see beyond himself, and how his behavior is affecting others.

He’s not supposed to be able to yet. That’s how he was made.

But we know he will eventually develop to the point where he will be able to see beyond himself, and–as long as he is surrounded by good models and treated kindly–he will use that ability to help others.

Same with adults. We’re not meant to be able to understand everything right now. I’m not sure why it’s like that, but it must be the best way, maybe the only way, for us to grow, right?

Anyway, that’s all. Just a few of my scattered thoughts, as usual.

Filed in: child development • parenting • self-reflection • spiritual | January 16, 2009